Than there is the hoagie sandwich. A cold sandwich which stuffs a a soft or hard Italian roll shaped like a hot dog roll, only longer and thicker, with lunch meats and cheeses covered with shredded lettuce and tomato. Maybe some onion and hot pepper also. There are other regions of the country who have introduced this concept but not with the rolls you can get around here.

Philly is also famous for a slab a meat we call scrapple. Mainly a breakfast food it is a mush with cornmeal, flour, and buckwheat flour fried or simmered with pork scraps. Yes scraps left over from the butcher. It goes great with eggs.

But the Grand Daddy of them all is the all powerful steak sandwich. In the 1920's Pat and Harry Olivieri had a hot dog stand in Philadelphia and they began selling chopped steak on a hoagie roll. Often with onions and ketchup. It was so successful that in 1930 they opened up Pat's Steaks soley for the purpose of selling the steak sandwich. It is still there today and is called Pat's King of Steaks.

It was so popular Joe Vento opened up Geno's Steak across the street from Pat's. It too is still opened to this day. In 1952 Pat's began to offer a cheese sauce poured on to the sandwich called Cheez Whiz. Although Joe form Geno's claims he added good old American cheese before Pat added the Whiz. No one has ever solved that debate.

So if you ever get to Philadelphia you must go to 9Th Street and Passyunk Avenue in South Philadelphia a visit both Pat's and Geno's. Remember though Pat's was the beginning.

Another unique aspect is the infamous "How to Order a Steak" sign at Pat's. It isn't a joke either. They get so crowded that they insist people know exactly how they want their sandwich. And you must order it in the correct fashion or you get sent back to the sign to learn.

For example if you want a steak sandwich with provolone instead of the whiz that is fine. So you would say give me a provolone. Also though you must end an order with either the word "with" (Philly speech "wit") or the word "without" (wit out in Philly language) to communicate whether you want onions or not. So your actual order would sound like this "give me a provolone wit, please." You just order a steak sandwich with provolone cheese and onions in correct fashion! Oh and if you want peppers there is a mice selection of peppers at the self serve ketchup station.

The most popular orders are the Cheez Whiz "wit", Provolone "wit", American "wit", and pizza sauce "wit". Onions are pretty popular here. No shame in saying "wit out" though.

Also pretty cool is they have pictures of many of the famous people who have come by from the many decades. I have actually met a few celebs and pro athletes getting a steak sandwich.

On a pathetic note. I now live 64 miles from Pat's and I will still make a pilgrimage there at least once a year for a sandwich! Got to love it! Oh and for me it's "Give me a pizza steak wit please."

Fortunately for me I had friends in Ontario just a couple hours from my home in New York. I could drop off my things with them and collect them little by little after visiting. What a relief that would be! So, the plan was set into motion. I went home to New York for a bit to get things straightened for my return, and then grabbed one of my friends to co-pilot the Search and Extract mission. The Plan: Return to New Brunswick, pack my belongings, travel north of the border down to Southern Ontario and drop off my many things, then head home with just a portion of them so as not to be bothered by Customs agents. It was genius. Fool proof. Magnificent.

The first part of Operation Cheattheborder went off without a hitch. We made great time from New York to New Brunswick, even proving that a Mazda 626 could, in a fit of road rage and dangerous speeds, beat a Camaro (or at least make the driver scared enough to stay clear of us). We arrived at the ex's place and slept. Phase one complete.

Phase two: I packed my belongings into a few duffle bags and said my goodbyes. Phase two went perfectly.

Phase Three: Long drive, eh? My co-pilot and I made good time through a good chunk of Canada, despite some blizzard like conditions. Luck was on our side as we sped (literally) down the highways. Every time we saw a cop, they already had a speeder pulled over, and we were of little matter to them. Things were going very well, until the good ol' Mazda lost second gear. We were in Quebec, somewhere, I'd tell you where exactly but I can't pronounce those French names, and if I could pronounce them I wouldn't because I hate the French. Chalk it up to being forced through French class in High school. I digress. We were losing our transmission in a place where we couldn't even speak their language, and we were many hours from home.

We stopped several times over the next few hours and poured money into the transmission, we were losing the fluid as quick as we were putting it in, but it got us a bit further down the road each time. It was Johnstown Ontario, just south of Ottawa, that the Mazda finally laid to rest. It was also about three in the morning. Our phone calls to possible responders went unanswered. We were trapped. On the bright side - it was Ontario - at least they spoke English.

We pushed the Mazda to the border and walked into the crossing patrol station. They looked at us as if we were retarded as we gave our account of the Mazda's demise and our ultimate dilemma of how to get home. They pointed us in the direction of a gas station where we could get a couple bottles of transmission fluid in hopes of getting us over the bridge and into the States where rescue was most likely. Arriving at the gas station at around 5:30 AM, we were welcomed by a sign informing us that they opened at 6:00AM. With the long walk already made once, we had only the option of standing in the cold and waiting for someone to show up and open the little station up.

Victory was ours at last. At 6:30AM when we reached our frosted Mazda again, complete with two bottles of transmission fluid, we did the last thing we could do - pour them straight into the transmission fluid container and try one last time. To my amazement, we DID start moving again, and as we got about one quarter of the way up the steeply inclined bridge I let God know we were on speaking terms again.

Apparently, he didn't feel the same way, because he smote the transmission one final time. There was only one thing left to do: Push.

Pushing the family vehicle up the steel-decked bridge, I looked down at the water rushing below us. Day dreaming is the best way to get through pushing a car for an extended distance, especially with an incline like this. My daydreams were a bit darker, where a section of the bridge would collapse be swallowed up by the Niagara River, the worthless paperweight of a vehicle with it, me laughing hysterically and in tones and octaves mostly reserved for sanitariums in B-rated movies. Alas, daydreaming didn't get things done, and there was a pretty sturdy looking rail between the river and any possibility of making my dream come true. After mourning the death of my hopes for the demise of this anxiety-ridden ride, we reached the top of the slope. We could see the American border crossing, and with the slope as it was, we would be able to let the car coast all the way!

Unfortunately internet dating gives you an eternity of bad karma, and karma was catching up with me at the bottom of the bridge where there was a toll booth. Two hundred yards from the actual border crossing, level as could be, we were stopped. We had to push again. Skipping the boredom and details of what the crossing guards, who helped us push part of the way, looked like; we were given directions to a motel we could probably walk to.

Very bad directions. We walked for an hour and a half before we found a Walmart where we were able to get the number for a cab company. We got the cabby to take us to the nearest motel. The cabby didn't wait for us to find the Motel office deserted. We walked again until we found what was formerly a Ramada, now an abandoned old building… or was it? Abandoned, I mean, was it abandoned? The only vehicle in the parking lot had Georgia plates. No lights on, no updated signs, just old Ramada signs that had red spray paint over the white letters that once spelled the franchise name. We tried the "front door" and were as delighted as you could be under the circumstances. On finding the front desk clerk, we were informed that since it was 11am and not 2pm, we would be charged for an extra half day's stay. As unacceptable as this was, it became acceptable when we looked back on the past few hours of walking, and when remembering it had been over 24 hours since either of us had last slept. I gave in, and the clerk went to go "make sure the room was available".

FakeRamada language lesson number one, “Make sure the room is available” translates into “Make sure this room is as shitty as possible because you don't look a day over 21 and you'll probably trash it”. She certainly made sure the room was available, as was noted by the leaking ceiling, cigarette burned bed spreads, stained floors, non-functioning phone, lack of hot water, and a heater that warmed approximately a two foot space in the next four hours. Despite having a room, I still had to leave the hotel to use a payphone across the street. Finally I got in touch with my mother, who in turn got in contact with my uncle who was able to pick up a car trailer and come get us. I went back to the room and tried to sleep, but the frustration of the day was weighing on me so much that I sat staring at the TV, flipping between a show about the playboy bunnies and a Romeo and Juliet story starring some sort of Spanish monkeys in some town somewhere. Quality television, I assure you.

Finally, when we wanted to check out because my uncle had made the six-hour trip to find us, we went to the front desk. Nobody was there. We rang the bell, called the desk from cell phones, and waited impatiently for a bit before I let myself in the “Employees Only” door beside the desk. Upon inspection I noticed a room with a couch, where our faithful Night Auditor lay sleeping peacefully through our obnoxious behavior. Tired and irritated, I gave the couch a couple kicks, a “Time to wake up, sunshine”, and then returned to my side of the front desk. He didn't get up. It wasn't until my uncle's girlfriend at the time chimed in that the clerk decided he'd grace us with his presence. He insisted he was not sleeping, and when confronted with the fact he was witnessed sleeping, he said he's allowed to sleep on the overnight shift. I was content with checking out, but after seeing the condition of the room my uncle and his then-girlfriend insisted I not pay for my stay. The night clerk whined and moaned through the fact he was unable to give refunds, etc. before he was told to call his manager. “The manager is probably at the casino” was his excuse. When pushed for a 1-800 number for the hotel, he checked his list of numbers and promptly came up with a 1-800 number… for poison control. After coming to the conclusion that we were not going to get anywhere with the possibility of a refund, we left the hotel, retrieved the hell-wagon, and made the six hour trek home.

I've always preferred Quality over Quantity, but the problems that came with this trip were more or less a quantity of quality. It goes without saying that I haven't been on a road trip since, despite the Mazda having its transmission rebuilt. My friend thanked me for the experience, since he had no plans for the weekend and it was indeed an experience he hadn't had before. We don't talk anymore. On that note, I blame Quebec and the French who settled it; because it was there that the transmission blew. France, if you read this, you owe me about $1,500 American dollars for the transmission, and about ten times that for the emotional turmoil I went through.

Walt Whitman

On a Democratic National Convention of the 1850s.

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“The meanest kind of bawling and blowing office-holders, office-seekers, pimps, malignants, conspirators, murderers, fancy-men, custom-house clerks, contractors, kept-editors, spaniels well-trained to carry and fetch, jobbers, infidels, dis-unionists, terrorists, mail-riflers, slave-catchers, pushers of slavery, creatures of the President, creatures of would-be presidents, spies, bribers, compromisers, lobbyers, sponges, ruin'd sports, expell'd gamblers, policy-backers, monte-dealers, duelists, carriers of conceal'd weapons, deaf men, pimpled men, scarr'd inside with vile disease, gaudy outside with gold chain made from the people's money and harlot's money twisted together; crawling, serpentine men, the lousy combinings and born freedom-sellers of the earth.”

One of the most influential American poets - If not American in general - ever, Whitman (1819 -1892) is known as the Father of Free Verse, so free speech was fairly important to him too. He published his first works with his own money, which some might see as vanity publishing but it was a genuine attempt to reach the everyday American on the street. Although he did indeed reach them through his poetry, on a personal level it is unlikely that he ever threw his pants to the three winds and dived naked in to bed with anyone, male or female. He did reminisce in his later days about girlfriends and children but there is little evidence to suggest anything more than romantic friendship. Although the above was written in the 1850s Whitman may well have still been in a bad mood about 1864. In a few short months he heard that one brother had been captured by the Confederate Army, another died of alcohol related tuberculosis and a he had another brother committed to a lunatic asylum. Oh dear. He is best remembered for “Leaves of Grass” - the volume of poetry he had first paid to be printed and one which he returned to and revised about a million time in his life.

Norman Mailer

On the Democratic National Convention of 1960

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“A man of taste, arrived from Mars, would take one look at the convention floor and leave forever, convinced he had seen one of the drearier squats of hell.. a cigar-smoking, stale-aired, slack-jawed, butt-littered, foul, bleak, hardworking, bureaucratic death gas of language and faeces… lawyers, judges, ward heelers, mafiosos, Southern goons an grandees, grand old ladies, trade unionists and finks; of pompous words and long pauses which lie like a leaden pain over fever”

Mailer (1923 - 2007) was born in New Jersey and went to Harvard, so in America anything is possible. He was part of the counter culture set in the 1950s and was one of the people who founded The Village Voice. Perhaps the quote above precurses his disgust at losing in the Democratic Primary for Mayor of New York City in 1969. With a secessionist agenda for New York (he wished to create State No 51) this was hardly a surprise. Kind of an American Henry VIII in that he was married six times, except it was a case of Divorced, Divorced, Divorced, Divorced, Divorced, Survived. He died in 2007 of acute renal failure - perhaps unsurprising for a man who could vent spleen with the best of them.

Max Lerner

On the Democratic National Convention of 1968

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"Here in Chicago… you see America plain with no holds barred, no warts missing from the portrait, with everything there, including credential fights and platform debates… with hippies and yippies and the New Left, with soldiers and Secret Service and a maddening security tightness, with newsmen and photographers being clubbed by overreacting police squads, but with an unflinching resolve to show and face what America is really like."

Lerner (1902 - 1992) was a journalist who wrote a controversial column for many years. He befriended Liz Taylor during her marriage to Eddie Fisher which makes him a nice guy in my book! Although he lived a long life he had a long illness in the 1980s, which he wrote about in this book “Wrestling with the Angel”. A wise man, if ever there was, I particularly like this from him “The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.”

Peter Coyote

On the Democratic National Convention of 1996

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“Delegates were warm and gregarious, teased one another liberally, hollered and waved across the room to newcomers, drank lots of wine and chatted as if they had not seen one another in years, when apparently they see one another often. The convention seemed to be just an extension of their intentions to have a good time.”

Coyote (1941 - present) is the guy who played the scientist with the jingly keys in “ET: The Extra Terrestrial” so it may be a surprise to see him in a list of political commentators. However, he had a long history of left-wing political activism. In 1963 he was one of 12 student protestors who met in the White House with President Kennedy. This was the very first time that a group of protestors had been allowed to do so - some would say a dangerous precedent from a soon to be dead President. His most recent TV role has been the Vice Presidential nominee on the now cancelled “Commander in Chief” from ABC (kind of a “West Wing” in pantyhose).

Adlai Stevenson

Democratic National Convention of 1956

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“The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal - that you can gather votes like box tops - is... the ultimate indignity to the democratic process.”

Many people consider Stevenson (1900 - 1965) an also-ran because he lost out to Dwight D Eisenhower in the 1952 and 1956 elections. As a result, though, he cannot be blamed for many of the things for which Dwighty baby is blamed. He was a man of great intellect and liberal ideas even though he came from Illinois. He was from a political family with some closetty skeletons not unlike the Kennedys (Stevenson killed a friend when he was 16, practicing his drill technique with a loaded rifle. We still read the same story ever day so some things never change). You could say he was the “West Wing” TV President that never was - his reputation for being an intellectual endeared him to many people but an awful lot were put off by the same thing. One quote that doesn't appear in this list is “Americans do not like a smart man”, but it should be. We salute you Stevenson, the best President the US never had.

1. Most Tattooed Person

   
   
   This one is very impressive, seeing how getting a tattoo of a dot is very painful. This record was set by Lucky Diamond Rich who has spent 1000 hours of his life getting tattoos that cover his entire body.

2. Most Books Typed Backwards

   This one seems very tricky ... I still don't know where anyone would get the idea to do this. It's amazing, actually, seeing as he did it entirely by memory. Michele Santelia of Campobasso, Italy typed 58 books backwards without looking at the screen and with a blank keyboard. He typed books in their original language ... ranging from The Odyssey to The Book of the Dead.

3. Most Rattle Snakes To Be in A Bathtub With

   
   
   This one I've heard of, but I still think these guys are crazy, in a good way. In 1999 Jackie Bibby and Rosie Reynolds-McCasland sat in different bathtubs both with 75 rattle snakes in Los Angeles California.

4. Most Live Rattlesnakes Held in Mouth

   
   
   One of the same guys as the last record, still insane, still awesome. In 2006, Jackie Bibby held 10 Rattle Snakes in his mouth for 10 seconds. In New York City, this is one of many Jackie Bibby Records.

5. Car Window Opened by a Dog the Fastest

   I think this record is cool because if I had a dog that could open a window for me, my ultimate dream would come true. Striker, a border collie owned by Francis V. Gadassi from Hungary, set this record.

6. Largest Collection of Penguins

   Most people have collections. Like me they, keep you from going crazy I collect human hair. Just kidding, but this collection is very impressive. It consist of 2,520 different penguins. And belongs to Brigit Berends.

7. Largest Gathering of People Dressed As Gorillas

   
   
   I can't really type this with a straight face because it is so hilarious of a concept. This gathering consisted of 637 people dressed as gorillas. It was organized to raise money for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund.

8. Longest Title of a Book

   This one is great. As an active reader, I find this one very entertaining. The full title is "Per favore dite a mia madre che faccio il pubblicitario lei pensa che sono un pierre e che quindi regalo manciate di free entry e consumazioni gratis a chi mi pare, rido coi vips, i calciatori le veline e le giornaliste, leggo Novella e mi fotografano i paparazzi, entro neI privé saltando la coda, bevo senza pagare, sono ghiotto di tartine e gin tonic, ho la casa piena di oggetti di design, conosco Paris Hilton, Tom Ford ed Emilio." It was written by Davide Ciliberte of Italy.

9. Fastest Modeling of a Balloon Dog

   
   
   I one reason I find this interesting is because it brings back horrible, horrible memories. This record is amazing, seeing as if most people even attempted to create a balloon dog it would blow up in their face, me included.

10. Fastest Time to Run Across 100 Meters of Ice

    I really don't know where anyone would get the idea to do this, but it is an amazing feat nonetheless. This was beaten in 2006 by, Nico Surings from Netherlands, in 17.35 seconds.

For those who have never been there it is a rather large city. It is presently the 6th largest city in Mexico with around 1.5 million people. When I was there I believe it was around a million. However even in downtown sections there would be stop signs at intersections and not traffic lights.

The rental company I was using for a car rental forbid you from taking their car into Mexico because of the potential driving hazards. So we took a bus across the border and wow was that a good idea. After seeing first hand the insanity of the driving habits I was happy I wasn't driving. And I had driven in Boston, NYC, Chicago, and lived outside of Philadelphia.

Nonetheless we enjoyed many things about Tijuana. Had some great Mexican food for one thing. We got to hear some cool live music also. However one of things you do in Tijuana is visit the shopping section and "haggle" or negotiate over products you may want to buy. There were a variety of different jewelry, clothing, and leather booths to browse.

At this one "store" I spotted this wonderfully made leather briefcase. Ironically before we left for our trip I was looking at one very similar for about $80. The price on this one said $30. I was sold right away. The proprietor sensed my interest and approached me. Now I have to be honest I love to save a buck but for some reason I was thinking "I"m on vacation and it is early in the day, I don't want to carry this around' and so on'. Just I was completing this thought the merchant says "$25 and it's yours".

I look at him appearing guilty that he lowered the price before we even started talking and I said "no really $30 is a great price, I just don't feel like going through the trouble of getting it back to the hotel and then across the country".

Then he looked at me like "boy your good" and says "okay $20 and I let you have it". (hopefully you have been inserting your own Mexican accent for the full effect)

Then I shoot back "no really you're too kind. It's not the money I just am feeling lazy today. I'm on vacation. Although it really is a nice briefcase". Then I even diplomatically and politely started walking away in the general direction of the exit.

Surprisingly the man blurts out to me "you take for $15".

Now for some inexplicable reason I was getting a little upset. Does this guy just think I'm cheap? What do I have to say to get him off my back? So then I resort to the "white lie". I say to him "look I tell you what, I'll swing back this way before we head back to San Diego. I'll give you the $15 American then. This really is a nice case". As I was finishing I began moving more directly toward the exit.

With his super sales radar he knew I was lying through my teeth. I also believe he thought I had been negotiating with him this whole time. So he tried a diversionary tactic by bringing the price down in a $2 increment instead of the $5 pattern he had previously set. "$13, how's that?" he asks.

Without even stopping I kept walking. As I was getting near the exit I said back at him "your price is fine in fact you had me at $30. I'm telling you it's not the money". I built up to a nice crescendo to drive home the point. I was now leaving the store.

Suddenly I hear his determined voice yell out to me "$10 and that's final sale!"

As if I had no control of my body I was back in the store handing him $10 and saying "okay it's a deal". He was a happy camper and I was, well I was confused as to what just happened. On one hand I just saved myself $70 from the case I was going to get near home. Then on the other hand I was mumbling to myself "now I got to carry this thing and bring it on the plane" and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I still have that briefcase and let me tell you it really is a nice case.

There are the classic Santas that look like they have just dropped in from the North Pole and there are funny Santas that make us laugh with that good old fashioned holiday spirit. There are dress-up Santas where everyone from cats and dogs, kids, a lizard and sexy babes put on that festive red pointy hat to get in the spirit of Christmas.

Then there is the weird stuff. There are Santa clones, Santa weirdos, crazy Santa toys, and some funny, strange, and alternative festive Santa Claus pictures and decorations that are not your every day Santa. Is he getting a little crazier every year, or maybe just a little weird? And what about that house full of elves?

OK, let's not get into all of the details but it is important to share this special tribute with the lady behind the man - we'll throw in something special to give due credit to the lady that makes her home with this celeb the other 364 days of the year - Mrs. Claus.

Yep, Santa is one of those stars that won't go away, he comes back every year and just seems to get hotter and hotter. The kind of guy that makes even the North Pole sound cool. So enjoy this Santa Claus extraordinaire, and get yourself into the holiday spirit.

Classic Santa Look

OK, we will at least start off with a few great shots of the classic Santa Claus, that jolly old man with a furry beard that blows in from the North Pole once every year on Christmas Eve.

Santa Christmas Pets

It seems that it only takes a red pointy hat placed on the head of our favorite pet to get us into the holiday frame of mind, although again, everyone has their own idea of what that holiday spirit is exactly...

OMG Santa, Is That You?

Santa is on his way, although once he gets here, he may look a little bit different than you remember him. Is that really the Santa Claus we know?

Is Santa Getting Weirder or What?

Maybe it is the long nights at the North Pole, maybe it is the isolation from mankind, or maybe it is that crazy band of elves he keeps around him, but it seems like Santa Claus has picked up a few crazy quirks and peculiarities along the way.

Everybody Wants to Be Santa Claus

In spite of what anyone may think, Santa Claus is still a very famous person, and everyone wants to be him. Some are a little more suited for becoming Santa impersonators than others, but every year, it seems that even more want to try on that famous costume.

Santa Claus is Cool

Like any other massive celebrity, Santa gets to hang out with the cool folks, and it seems that he is becoming hipper with every coming year.

A Tribute to Mrs. Claus

One of the reasons that we may have not considered for Santa's self imposed isolation on the North Pole is the fact that his wife Mrs. Claus is one hot babe, and Santa has a hard time leaving - knowing that he is leaving this lady home at night.

Crazy Santa Toys

Some of these are cute, some of these are a little bit unique, and a few of these are some of the weirdest Santa toys around.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

1. GO SKYDIVING

   
   
   Skydiving has to be the most incredible ride of a lifetime. Taking a leap-of-faith out of the cargo hold on a B90 King Air airplane at an altitude of approximately 30,000 and free falling for about 2 minutes requires courage or just an “I am dying anyways” attitude. At this height, it requires breathing pure 100% oxygen, so to prevent getting the “bends” that could result in death.
   
   Can you imagine the rush that skydiving is falling at more than 120+MPH straight towards the earth, knowing that there is a chance that this jump could possible be your last?

   Fact:

   Skydiving is statistically safer than scuba diving.

2. DOCK WITH THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION

   
   
   Can anyone spare a little extra change of about $20 million to book a trip to spend a week on board the International Space Station. Wow, this vacation would be the trip of a lifetime. Just imagine, staring out from the International Space Station and gazing at the awesome blue marble that we know as Earth and experiencing weightlessness would be a hoot, too. You'll be sent a postcard or an email or something for your donation.

   Fact:

   The International Space Shuttle has taken more than 293,141 images of the earth. The Space Shuttle has taken more than 287,116 images, the Mir with 2,512 images and the Skylab with a mere 37 images that are stored in NASA's databases.

3. EDGE OF SPACE SUPERSONIC JET RIDE

   
   
   Ok, you don't have a spare $20 million to spend for a 7-day trip to the International Space Station. That's fine, but you don't have to give up. How about considering a trip to the edge of space in a British Jet Fighter called the Lightning? Just think about it for a minute. Imagine flying 60,000 feet high over the earth at a speed of 50 thousand feet per minute and seeing the curvature of the earth. Now, that would fill a barf bag up with a stomach full of excitement.

   Fact:

   To put 60,000 feet in perspective, it's like stacking 41.29 Empire State Building one on top of another and still fall a little short of the height that this flight would take you.

4. TAKE A RIDE ON A RUSSIAN MIG-FIGHTER JET

   
   
   The modern-day cold war will just have to wait until after we get our chance to take a ride on the legendary MiG-29 or the extraordinary MiG-31 Foxhound, while pulling G's way beyond the speed of sound. The best thing is that the Sokol Aircraft Plant in Nizhny Novgorod, Russia is not that far from Alaska, so if we book this adventure right, then we have the chance to see Alaska, too.

   Fact:

   The MiG-31 Foxhound can travel at a top speed of 1,865 mph using its power- plant of two 34,171-lb after-burning thrust Soloviev D-30F6 turbofans.

5. DIVE TO THE TITANIC ON-BOARD A SUBMARINE

   
   
   If you feel more comfortable exploring the mysteries beneath the oceans, then visiting the world-famous Titanic must be at the top of any things to do list before you die kind of thing. For a mere $35,000 you could be one of the chosen few to see first hand probably the world's most famous shipwreck. Traveling down to 3800 meters to the ocean's bottom where light is a stranger this deep below the surface and the beast are tough.

   Fact:

   Only 706 passengers and crew managed to overcome the tragic sinking and the elements out of more than 2222 passengers and crew.

6. CLIMB THE GREAT PYRAMID OF EGYPT

   
   
   Following in the footsteps of King Khufu and travel back in time to 2720-2560 BC to marvel at the engineering masterpiece of one of the Seven Wonders of the World, the Great Pyramid of Giza. An estimated 2.6 million blocks weighing as much as 70 tons apiece were used in the construction of the Great Pyramid. Can you imagine the sense of achievement that it would be to climb to the top of the 482-foot Great Pyramid and panning the vast desert landscape?

   Fact:

   The subterranean chamber leads to a passage that descends 345 feet beneath the earth. It's foundation covers thirteen areas and has lost 33 feet of all of its dimensions due to erosion of its marble encasing that once was used to protect the pyramid from the brutal desert elements.

7. VISIT THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA

   
   
   The Great Wall of China was built in the Qin, Han and Ming dynasties as defensive fortifications during the Warring States Periods of the Yan, Zhao and Qin dynasties. However, it did not become known as the Great Wall until the Qin dynasty. The construction required an army of labor that included soldiers, prisoners and average people to complete the more than 4163 miles of the wall. With a history of more than 2000 years, this is on destination that cannot be missed out on.

   Fact 1:

   It took The China Great Wall Academy 45-days to survey all of the 101 sections of the Wall in different provinces. That's one time-consuming job.

   Fact 2:

   The Chinese call the Wall “Wan-Li Qang Qeng” when translated 10,000-Li Long Wall, which 10000 Li equals about 5000 km. It was built solid with a thickness of 30 feet at its widest area and a mere 15 its narrowest sections.

8. COVERT OPS

   
   
   Live out your wildest dream of becoming an ultra-secret covert agent and assigned a mission to take down the enemy hideout and complete the mission. No, you don't have to join the military to experience the action of a realistic covert operation and receive covert ops training before the mission begins.
   
   Incredible-Adventures.com offers such a vacation for the most extreme vacation adventurers among us. I found this website while researching for this article and was amazed at what some people are willing to do, just to add a little adventure in their lives. Sure, combat pistol training and high-speed evasive driving excises sounds might exciting and becoming secret agent 021 (3 times more lethal than 007) has always captured the attention of may young men and boys the world over.

   Fact:

   Dropping down behind enemy lines operating under deep cover and carrying out missions only a few high-level government officials have approved is normally referred to as Covert Ops (Covert Operations).

9. DIVING WITH SHARKS

   
   
   After watching the movie Jaws, it seemed like the perfect extreme vacation that would scare the heck out of you and overload the senses with unthinkable excitement. Great white sharks circling the cage like a prehistoric stealth bomber planning its attack. The only thing that is between you and them is a stainless steel cage. Every time the sharks crash into the cage with the power of truck the strength of the engineering is being tested. Diving with sharks is on this list, because the attraction can eat the spectators.

   Fact:

   The world-record for the largest Great White Shark was caught in 1948 and measured at 21 feet long almost 5 feet longer than the average size Great White Shark.

10. TAKE AN AFRICAN SAFARI

    
    
    One of the coolest vacations that a person could ever take is booking an African safari. Just think how amazing it would be to actually observe nature's magnificent beasts roaming free in the wild. Loins resting under the shade, while hippos waddle about in the mud holes and elephants standing guard out in the distance. Look! There is a pair of giraffes grazing on those trees and checkout those rhinos as they charge. Pilanesberg National Park is South Africa's fourth largest national park comprising 212 square miles of nature at her best.

    Fact:

    Pilanesberg National Park is the home of Africa's Top Five animal attractions including lion, leopard, black and white rhino, elephant and buffalo, not to mention the zebra, hippo, giraffe and crocodile that an adventurer may be faced with on an African Safari.

Rilda and I had brought one of our daughters, Pat, along on three-week journey that began in Budapest and ended in Helsinki.

Skirting Czechoslovakia to the south, the bus entered Hungary and drove past Gyor and Tatabanya to Budapest, Paris of Eastern Europe. The city consisted of the community of Buda on the elevated western bank of the Danube, and Pest spreading out on the eastern bank.

Rilda exclaimed jubilantly, “What a magnificent sight.”

Pat replied just as excitedly, “Never seen anything like it.”

We stood in the shadow of the Citadella, a fortress built by the Hapsburgs atop Buda overlooking the Danube River, able to see all of Pest.

“How about that Chain Bridge?” I asked. “One of the longest suspension bridges in Europe.”

“Don't forget about the fireworks planned for tonight,” Pat said. Then she said glibly, “And I think you're great, Dad, to arrange for us to be here on Hungary's Independence Day.”

I smiled smugly. “Think nothing of it, Pat. Anything for you.”

At Gundel's, waitresses in colorful gypsy dress served a typical Hungarian dinner, accompanied by lively Hungarian music supplied by strolling violinists. We stuffed ourselves with all the traditional paprika-laden dishes.

But the restaurant was on the eastern edge of Pest and we were late for the fireworks. I hailed a taxicab, explaining our problem to a young Hungarian, who replied, “Nooo problem,” in a Hungarian accent. With sreeching tires, the young Hungarian spurted to the west toward the Danube River and the Chain Bridge. I sat stiffly in the front passenger seat, squinting my eyes throughout the entire trip. Rilda and Pat huddled together in the rear seat and kept their eyes tightly closed. The young man drove 80 miles an hour through the streets of Pest, bumping up on sidewalks when at a stop light, and skirting cars with the horn blaring continuously. When I suggested we were not in that much of a hurry, the young man replied, “Nooo problem.”

With squealing brakes, the cab jolted to a stop at the edge of a crowd huddled before the Chain Bridge. I handed the driver a handful of Hungarian Forints and a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. The man ignored the money and stared lovingly at the American cigarettes. He must have said, “Thank you,” at least ten times.

The magnificent display of fireworks over Buda, as seen from the Chain Bridge, was indescribably fantastic. The dazzling explosions of color against the night sky over the Danube River reminded me of those over the Charles River in Boston on July 4th when Arthur Fiedler once conducted the Boston Pops Orchestra in the 1812 Overture.

The nice young Hungarian man patiently awaited them for the return trip. I explained to him, “Please. Do not drive so fast. We're in no hurry. You understand?”

He replied with, “Nooo problem.”

The return was smoother and slower, so when they arrived at the Hotel Mercure Korona, we waved to the driver and in unison said, “Goodnight.”

He waved his second pack of Marlboro cigarettes high in the air as he drove away and again shouted, “Thanks.”

The next morning our tour bus crossed the Great Alford and the Carpathian Mountains on its way to Uzhgorod on the Ukrainian border. I thought we would spend all three weeks in Uzhgorod where it took hours for Soviet border guards to search the bus and its passengers, count money, and inventory jewelry, film, tapes and videocassettes.

We purchased a few Soviet rubles at the state bank $1.50 per ruble. We had agonized for weeks prior to the trip about buying black market Soviet rubles. I finally said, “Too risky. Can't take the chance of being caught. We'll have to make do with the inflated exchange rate.”

Finally, we made it into the USSR,the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, the Soviet Union on our way across the Ukraine Mountains to Lvov. I was always perplexed when watching an international sports event, that a Soviet uniform was emblazoned with CCCP. I would ask myself, What the hell does it stand for? Why not USSR? During this trip to the USSR, I learned that in the Cyrillic alphabet, S=C and R=P. In Russian, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics translated to Soyuz Sovetskykh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublic SSSR. I nodded and sighed, SSSR equates to CCCP.

The following morning, Rilda asked guardedly, “Going to do it, Sweetheart?”

I shrugged and said dismissively, “Imagine the headline, "American Army Colonel arrested by the KGB in Lvov for purchasing black market rubles." I don't think so.”

“Gee, Dad,” Pat persisted, “our guide, Ingrid, says everyone does. If you won't, give me your money and I'll do it.”

Rilda, Pat and I descended the stairs and while I was still agonizing over making such a purchase, an extremely obese man with a cherub-like face and pink cheeks approached me in the lobby of the hotel. With an Eastern European accent, he whispered with a raspy voice in English. “Mister. Want to purchase rubles?”

Rilda and Pat were smiling angelically, so I shrugged, glanced at the ceiling for a moment as if in prayer, and then acquiesced by nodding to the fat man. The extremely well fed man crooked a finger at me to follow him to his tiny car, a Traubie. This hulk of a man was a Pole who smuggled rubles and western currency across the Polish border. Western currency bought Polish zloty in Poland¾90,000 zlotys to the U.S. dollar.

The giant flicked open the passenger door and motioned me into the wee car. Then he plodded carefully around the rear of the car, glancing about stealthily. I watched him suck in his huge gut and hold his breath while he wedged himself into the driver's seat.

When the Pole stretched across me to the glove compartment, I felt a wave of terror well up from my belly and beads of perspiration erupt on my forehead. Thoughts ran through my mind at a mile a minute. Does he pull out a gun to rob me, and then drive off? Or does he show me his KGB identification and drive me to the nearest police station? Next stop, a gulag in Siberia.

The glove compartment door sprung open with a click that sounded to me like a pistol shot. I recoiled, and then stared into a cubbyhole stuffed with paper rubles, crammed into every nook and corner, with no room left for even a single kopeck coin.

“How many?” The rather large man asked gruffly as he gestured with an open hand to the cubicle.

I hesitated while my heart rate returned to normal, and answered hesitantly, “Uh. Don't know.” The human version of King Kong grimaced, so I quickly said meekly, “How about ... uh ... twenty dollars?”

The Pole frowned deeply and said, “Well, my friend. A twenty-dollar bill gets you ten rubles to the dollar.” He reached into the glove compartment and grabbed a fistful of rubles.

I quickly calculated that from $1.50 per ruble at the official government rate to ten rubles for a dollar, I would have a fifteen-fold increase in purchasing power while in the USSR. I paused while thinking, Suppose they're counterfeit? Headlines. American Colonel arrested for passing counterfeit rubles.

The Pole said authoritatively, “Don't worry. They're real.” Then he smiled contemptuously at me as he waved the fistful of rubles in front of my face. “An American one hundred dollar bill will get you fifteen rubles for a dollar.”

Upon hearing that offer, I didn't need a calculator and did not hesitate to extract a $100 bill from the wad of bills in my pocket.

The Polish Godzilla licked his thumb and index finger and carefully counted out 1,500 rubles, not creating a gap in the fistful he had removed from the compartment that had not made an indentation in his monumental supply.

The Pole and I shook hands, both of us smiling broadly, nodded to each other and I stuffed his fistful of rubles into my pocket before scooting from the car. I swaggered back to the hotel where Rilda and Pat eagerly waited in the front door. When they saw my huge grin, their faces also illuminated. I looked up the staircase at them and announced proudly, “We've got enough rubles for a while.”

“Let's see,” Pat said, bouncing with excitement.

“Not here,” I said warily. I looked around furtively, and when I saw no one possibly resembling the KGB, I let out a long sigh of relief.