50 years ago we used to get American tourists in Australian cities expecting to see kangaroos hopping in the towns.  Although we don’t have kangaroos hopping down the main street or in our back yards in Australia, just about every golf course has some kangaroos hanging around to feast on the well kept grass fairways.

Mount Coolum on Australia’s Sunshine Coast has the distinction of being the second largest Monolith in the World.  The largest is also in Australia and it is Uluru or Ayre’s Rock in central Australia.  A monolith is a geological formation that is only one rock, and not made up of many rocks like most mountains.

At a school in Western Queensland where I was teaching the grounds man left the sprinkler on one night and the next morning we arrived at school to find that the sub zero temperatures had frozen the plants spectacularly.

This plant was adjacent to the previous one and it became covered in stalagmites as well. That previous night the temperature was way below freezing and at 6am in was still -6ºC, and in Farenheit that would be about 17 ºF.  Brass monkeys would definitely be looking for welders.

In the suburb of Brisbane called Stones Corner there used to live an old man who owned a remarkable dog which he had trained to do his shopping for him. The man would place a shopping list and money in the dog’s collar and a basket in his mouth and send him to the local grocery store.  There the workers of the store would fill his basket with the man’s order and send him on home with a full basket of groceries. After the old man and his dog passed on this statue was erected on the street outside the store as a memorial.

This used to be busy Brunswick St, the main street in Fortitude Valley, an inner suburb of Brisbane, Australia.  In the 80s and 90s Brisbane’s City Council went Street Mall crazy and turned many thoroughfares into shopping malls.  Malls seemed to be the answer to the revitalisation of all our dingy old suburban streets, and so the Trendy Lefties set about changing the face of city streets.  Now drivers would see more of the city as they had to drive around the new malls ands through 5 sets of stop lights instead of just 2. This one is the Brunswick St. Shopping Mall, note again, the popular Aboriginal Art theme with the representation of “The Rainbow Serpent” of Aboriginal Dream Time legend slithering along the centre of the mall.

Subway is a hit in Australia also and holds the pride of place in the Brunswick St Mall.  Mcwhirters used to be a large department store but now it has been turned into a multi livel market place with the penthouse floor being an Art Space area for painters.

Not to be denied, during the Mall Crazy period the chinese community of Brisbane built their own mall in Duncan Street Fortitude Valley.  Very popular at Chinese New Year, when all the fireworks go off.

This is from the opposite end at Ann St.  Vehicles can drive halfway into the mall to get to the multi storey parking lot.  There are many chinese restaurants as well as a couple of Korean and Vietnamese ones as well.

I spent many a shift parked on this very taxi rank, McWhirter's Rank, waiting for that elusive fare that would make me a fortune. Inevitably I would just get a fare to the next suburb and be back at the rank in 5 minutes, waiting again.

Cost

Considering London is divided up into zones and depending on which zone you are traveling to will cost you more money, the subway in NYC is a dream. It's $2, plus transfers from the subway to bus or bus to subway are free as long as it's within a two hour period. Hands down, NYC wins this one.

NYC 1 London 0

Oystercard vs. Metrocard

Excluding the fact that the new Oystercards have IKEA written all over them, I think the overall look of the Oystercard has a simple yet efficient design and is a lot more professional looking. Forgetting the fact that no one knows why it's called an "oystercard" (besides the obvious lame excuse of "london is your oyster") I think the Big Smoke wins this category. Metrocards look a bit outdated even though the name makes the most sense.

NYC 1 London 1

Appearance

I've always taken the look of the subway for granted. After all it's underground why wouldn't it look like a deep dark cavernous post-apocalyptic garbage dump? However after having it pointed out to me that NYC city subways look "unfinished" and as if they just stopped building when they felt like it, I think London's clean, eye pleasing, relatively sleek interiors (underground station and actual train cars) are aesthetically more pleasing, even though every given space (as mentioned with Oystercards) is filled with advertisements and free newspapers strewn everywhere.

NYC 1 London 2

Efficiency

Ha. This is tough. Seriously. I think this is open to a bit of interpretation, seeing as in both cities it will always depend which line you live on. I happen to live on the Piccadilly line and will not even begin the rant which is brewing in my mind right now. But perhaps the real test of underground systems is the weekends. In London most lines seem to be closed or partially closed on weekends for "refurbishment". In NYC, the same happens but albeit less frequently (probably why they get low marks for appearance!), however I do remember a time in the summer when it was near impossible to get any subway line going downtown. But if push comes to shove, I'd have to go with NYC subway getting the gold star for efficiency. Hear, that MTA?

NYC 2 London 2

Ease of Deciphering Map/Signs

Even though the tube maps looks like a lump of multi-colored spaghetti, it wins in my book. The NYC subway is pretty easy to decipher, as long as it's during the day. Sure there are express and local trains on the same line, with tiny transfers and directions written on the map. But once it hits midnight local can run on express track and all kinds of chaos takes over. Try to read this on the map or even signs on the platforms and you can end up in Brooklyn instead of downtown Manhattan. So for this I say London's spaghetti map wins. However only slightly since NYC may have trains issues after dark, but at least there are trains after dark!!! So I may have to give NYC an extra point just because it is a 24-hour service.

NYC 3 London 3

Annoyances/Entertainment

In NYC it's beggars on the trains, in London it's buskers in the stations. Granted we do have some pretty talented beggars. I've seen kids do acrobatics on moving trains (and I would say that the train ride is a bit rougher and more bumpy than the Tube) and been wowed by singers, percussionists and rappers. However being broke, it's a bit hard when these people are asking for money, or more likely homeless people begging for it. So in this case I would have to go with London, as there are minimal beggars on the train and buskers throughout the stations who are playing for fun and whatever cash they can rake in.

NYC 3 London 4

Weather

Now I'm not sure whether (haha) to divide this into two categories- weather inside the stations/subway cars and weather outside effecting the service (you know I'm talking to you London Underground). I think the combination should be alright for now. I'm going to go for NYC for this one. It maybe be as hot as hell in the stations but at least the subway cars have AC. Plus the actual subway lines are hardly ever effected by outside weather (unless extreme, or the station becomes flooded). So all in all NYC deals with its weather pretty well. Whereas London gets a bit of snow or it can be a few degrees too hot and the whole process slows down or shuts down completely. They don't get weather in one extreme or the other too frequently so maybe they should get a bit more credit or slack, but some lines are always unbearably not matter what the weather- Victoria and Central lines, I'm looking at you.

NYC 4 London 4

So by my count, that's a tie. Obvioulsly it's all a matter of personal opinion but regardless of which city wins, we all know that whatever the transport- London Tube or NYC Subway- all of us city dwellers can't live without either system.

Personal Space and Mass Transit

What's silver and shiny and holds lots of people as they move? Poles! Poles inside the subway cars and buses are not for holding up the ceiling, and certainly not for dancing. A couple hundred people can fit in one subway car, and since there are only about 40 seats, this means most people in crowded cars are standing. Buses are more or less the same, but their ride is much more bumpy, so it's extra important to be careful.

Blocking hand space on the support poles is a terrible offense. If you've ever had a ride where someone monopolized the pole by leaning back against it, you know how it feels. Poles give us support, comfort, and a little slice of territory inside this big, noisy, metal box. When you hold on, take care to notice that your hand isn't sliding down into someone else's space. Accidental hand-touching is just plain awkward and creepy.

In addition, if you have been blessed/cursed with an abundance of waist, please do not try to squeeze onto the open seat between two happily seated riders. Search for a corner, an edge, or an empty row.

When you stand, make sure you take into account how much room is available around you for other passengers. If you have a lot of space, center yourself within it so as to provide the oncoming passengers their choice of room in which to stand. If you are a sardine in a can, keep your wandering hands to yourself (creepy guy on the #5 train, you know who you are) and don't cop a feel “accidentally.”

Sardined cars are both the best and worst cars to ride in. On the one hand, you are surrounded by human buttresses so it's unlikely that you will fall if you can't hold on to the pole. On the other hand, you might be face-to-armpit with a construction worker. When in a packed car, remember the following:

1. Take your purse or bag off your shoulder and place it in between your legs
2. Fix your hair up in a way that doesn't cause someone else to eat a mouthful of frizz
3. Breathe to yourself, not down someone else's neck or back.