When changing cultures, parents have to take extra care of their children because of the reverse culture shock. Although it may seem that in the beginning their children are enjoying the new things, they will soon start having issues. Just a side note: not all children will go thought reverse culture shock. Parents must be cautious to the sings of reverse culture shock.

The first stage of reverse culture shock (also known as re-entry) is called the “honeymoon” stage. The “honeymoon” stage is when the person, in this case a missionary kid, is excited about being back. He is thrilled about seeing friends, family, having good “American food”, and speaking English constantly (Storti 57-58). The next stage is “reverse culture shock”; this is when the child begins to get board with all the things that were “new”. This stage may not come abruptly; it usually comes after all the rounds have been made to see family, friends and churches. The child might start to feel unwanted because everyone has already heard all the stories and assumes all is fine, even though the child might be suffering. Another thing that comes in this stage is feelings of judgment; everything “back home” in the foreign country seemed to be perfect, and the things that weren't perfect are completely forgotten (Storti 58-59) . This reaction is just like the Israel's after they were taken out of Egypt. Exodus 16:3, "We wish the LORD had killed us in Egypt. When we lived there, we could at least sit down and eat all the bread and meat we wanted. But you have brought us out here into this desert, where we are going to starve." Israel's conditions were horrible in Egypt, yet all that was forgotten when they were in the dessert, they only thought of the “good” that they had. Children especially will only try to remember the good times they had and will use that to prove that it is better on the field. An additional problem in re-entry is the sense of never being able to fit in.

This part of re-entry is called “life at the margins”, they neither feel at home in their mother country, nor do they feel at home in the “host” country (Storti 61). Children, especially teenagers, will be “required” to know what's “in”, and what music to listen to, and know who the new movie stars are; also in their home country they are expected to know what to do in certain situations. This can cause a lot of frustration because in the “host” country they were given a lot of leeway because they are foreigners. “Unhappy and disappointed, you naturally being to question the wisdom of coming home and wonder if you haven't made a mistake. If I dislike so much about my country and am so different from my compatriots, was coming here really such a good idea (Storti 63)?” Doubts not only occur with children, it also happens to adults.

One of the best ways to help the whole family get though reverse culture shock is to keep some type of routine. Try to keep some of the routines the family practiced on the field. Parents must understand that their children will all react in different ways to the change. Some will enjoy the change, some will be ok with it, and others will totally seclude themselves (Jordan 118-119). “Missionary children deal with all kinds of feelings during their furloughs. They often feel lonely, shy, socially inferior, fearful, and anxious. They hear the pain of missing their friends back "home" and even the house where they had lived on the mission field (Walters 9).” The best way for parents to try to deal with these feelings is by talking to their children. Some times the family should make a day where they act like the foreign culture. Speak the language, make food that is common in that country, and watch a movie in that language or about the place. Also, parents should try to get the children involved with other missionary children, or even foreign exchange students, this will help them see that they are not alone in the feelings they have.

“Living in a new culture can be exhilarating and intellectually stimulation. It can also be frustrating. It is one thing to visit a country and move on when you have seen enough; it is quite another to live there and function according to a different, and sometimes, mysterious set of norms (Cultural Adjustment 1).”

To many missionary children going back to their parent's home land is like going to a foreign country. They feel like they don't know much. Re-entry is not only a mental state but it can cause a risk of sickness and emotional problems. Families must learn to be kind to each other when they get home. They need to give themselves time to adjust; the family has to be the best friend of each member (Elaine). Other things the family can do is to plan fun things to do as a family, go to an amusement park, go watch a movie in the theater. Also set goals for the family, not only for the family but for each individual person.

Having goals will give the family something to accomplish and something to do. Parents should try to help their children see the best of the situation and how to enjoy the “new” culture and people. Journaling is also a good way to let out stress and express feelings; this tactic is most useful for parents and teenagers. It is normal for children and parents to feel a sense of loss, but it is not good for them to feel strange or abnormal. Furthermore parents need to teach their children how not to be negative. Parents show this by being the example, if a parent is complaining about all that is wrong in the home country the children will pick up on this and will not have a good experience in that home country.

When the time comes for a missionary kid to go to college one of the things that can hurt them the most is calling/writing/e-mailing friends/family immediately, explaining how hard things are, how they do not like the situation they are in. College missionary kids need to give it time (Kolhs). Some people may feel intimidated because they do not understand the experience the college missionary kid has had. They do not know from what type of culture the student has come from, nor can they grasp the idea of how it is to live somewhere else. Also it may be harder to find things in common with long time friends and with family, they may also be unprepared for the changes of the student's values and lifestyle. The home culture-from social conditions to mass media-looks different now then it was then. Speaking English constantly might seem awkward. The student might additionally feel a sense of being a stranger because of a political change, economic developments, and even new fads in fashion.

The student must not expect to be perfect, or better than everyone. As time passes things will get easer; have an open mind to what other students call “normal” (“The Reality of Reverse Culture Shock”). A way to help get over the process of reverse culture shock is to participate, watching the world change and not getting involved is a bad habit to acquire. The student should find others to talk to, make sure the others are willing to listen to the concerns of coming from a different country. One last thing that will help a college missionary kid adjust is if he keeps in contact with friends and family in the other country, asking parents and friends to send pictures, magazine clippings, postcards, and even videos. This will help the student still feel like he is apart of the family (Ernenwein).

Furloughs were always a rough time for me; I never like coming home. Each year we would come and travel to 25 different churches, skipping school if necessary. Reverse culture shock was a very large part in my life. I was so used to living in a country where life was laid back, friends were always around, and worship in church was open for all sorts of specials. When we would arrive the joy of being able to see family was almost overwhelming. “American food” like Pizza Hut, Burger King, and Ponderosa were so exciting to go to. Once my family started to settle down, the “new” was not so “new” any more. I was considered the “weird one” in school, so I didn't have many friends. Yet there were a few things that helped me recover from my reverse culture shock. First, I was able to call Brazil once a month and talk to my friends. I also had pictures of my friends in my room, my locker, my Bible and also my backpack. Although most of the time my Portuguese Bible was in our display I was able to read that a lot too. An additional item that helped me cope with the move was every Sunday I was able to sing a song in Portuguese, and help mom teach little kids a song.

One of the things that I believe would have helped me, and would help other kids is by being discipled by a youth leader. Being discipled gives teens an outlet for trying to understand their home culture, and giving them some one to rely on for help. Another good thing that would help would be to disciple another person, one who is younger spiritually. This would help give a missionary kid confidence, and a reason to be strong. Discipling someone/being discipled is not only reading the Bible, but it is making a friendship that will last for a long time. Not only does this give a way to grow in Christ, but it gives something to look forward to on the next furlough.

Culture shock can be devastating to a missionary and his family if they are not careful. There have been many a missionary who have “quit” being one because they could not deal with the host's culture. Reverse culture shock is no different. The effects of reverse culture shock that is not dealt with can also be very damaging. Parents and children need to learn how to communicate their feelings so that they can help each other get through it.