I wish to point out that the optimum flying experience is often out of the hands of the airline employees. The passengers themselves are to blame for the poor airline reviews. Flying is like going to Disneyland on the warmest and most populated day. You just have to be patient waiting in a three hour line to fly on Dumbo with the rest of humanity.

Here are some things that are not the airline carrier's problem:

1. You get an “organized, herding” kind of feeling and you have an unexplained deep desire to “moo.”.
2. The guy next to you has not bathed in a while and the stench makes your eyes water
3. A huge woman has chosen the middle seat. Her rump expands over to your seat. You are in the window seat and literally seating on the window shade.
4. The gentleman in the middle seat takes both arm rests and insists on reading his newspaper even if his elbow knocks you in the ribs
5. The guy behind you keeps yelling the latest news article that he is reading in his magazine. Unfortunately he is hard of hearing and he thinks everyone else is as well. “I SAID LITTLE GREEN MEN HAVE INVADED CALIFORNIA CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?”
6. The kid in front of you gets out of his seatbelt turns around, smiles and quickly drools in your face. Isn't he precious?
7. The lady in front of you just keeps ordering drinks as her kids jump on the seats, scream and argue. “Sit down little Jimmy or I will be forced to order another white wine and I mean it!”
8. The guy next to you tells you that you look like a famous actress and he would like your phone number. He says this 10 times before you even take-off.
9. The lady behind you chooses the flight home to tell her husband that she wants a divorce and reveals all the sordid details as to why. “Listen Harry, I know about you and Meredith and Jill and FiFi and Bob and the horse and I want a divorce!”
10. The couple next to you decides that the honeymoon destination is not the only place to prove their desire for each other. They decide to ask for a blanket and get an early start on the activities. “Oh baby, yes! Yes!”

So as you can see the airlines are not really to blame for the diverse and often lousy flying experiences that we all encounter. Dealing with the public on overbooked, delayed, and overcrowded flights has to be one of the worst jobs in the world.

But what do you mean charging me an extra $25 bucks to check in my luggage? Why don't you charge the idiot tying up the line trying to load his casket in the overhead after bumping every passenger in the face as he makes his way down the aisle?

Isn't flying wonderful?

“Not even the jet-liners of today can meet the rigorous luxury standards set forth by the "Clipper." Fashionable staterooms, and an air of opulence to the interior, which included a de-luxe suite and dining saloon.” Sleeping accommodation was available, although on most services passengers slept ashore during the overnight stops.

Gone for Good?

In spite of the enormous area the sea offers for aircraft to alight on, the days of large flying boats appear to be over forever. They've been elbowed out of the sky by jets that touch down alongside comfortable airport terminals with shelter and shops.

Large flying boats may be gone, but tiny ones are thriving. It's as if the flying boat, which began as a small craft (often with no more than a pilot and a passenger) and then evolved into a monster, has finally found its rightful place in the world.

A Little Bit of History

The idea of the flying-boat has never left the imagination of inventors and builders. Even before men could conceive how to fly, the thought of boats that could both sail and fly were dwelt upon. Back in 1670, a Jesuit priest, Francesco de Lana Terzi, drew a model of an aerial ship. Though his model would not have worked in practice it actually laid the ground for the development of hot-air balloons and airships. In the late 19th century, a magazine produced by novelist Frank Reade frequently presented illustrations of imaginatively drawn flying boats on its covers.

But the first flying boat to be worthy of the name was built by Frenchman Henri Fabre. On the 28th of March 1910, he successfully took off from the water and safely "landed" again. The machine's official name was Hydravion, (a combination of the words relating to water and air or flying) but it was nicknamed, Le Canard, the “Duck.” Amazingly, Fabre, who became better know for his work on the floats used on later seaplanes, had never flown before - even as a passenger.

The next pioneer of note in this arena was the American, Glenn Curtiss. Curtiss was to spend a lifetime experimenting with flying boats, and made constant improvements to his inventions. His original hydro aeroplane took off less than a year after Fabre's, on the 26th January, 1911, but not content with that success, he made improvements and flew his hydro aeroplane out to the cruiser USS Pennsylvania where it was moored on the San Diego harbour, alighted beside her, paid the crew a courtesy visit, and flew home again. The Navy was so impressed they placed an order for their first floatplane soon after. By 1912, Curtiss had so improved his plane that wealthy sportsmen, as well as the US Army and Navy all purchased versions of it.

Meanwhile in Britain, a Mr Wakefield of Blackpool, concerned for some time that planes landing on the ground were often damaged, reasoned that planes landing on water would be less liable to injury. He was scoffed at, but pursued his theory when he heard of Curtiss' work, and in 1912 he produced the Water Hen, which flew daily throughout that year without mishap.

For the next few decades, until the 1950s, flying boats were as common as planes that landed on the earth. They were used extensively in the First World War, having the advantage of being able to use a convenient piece of water as a "landing strip." This meant that flying boats could depart off the coast of England, for instance, rather than from an inland airfield, thus saving fuel.

In the 1930s, the flying boat became the luxury passenger craft. (In fact the world's first passenger service used a Benoist flying boat, carrying one passenger between St Petersburg and Tampa in the USA, over a period of several months, at the rate of $5 a trip.) Flying boats became bigger and bigger: people could walk round comfortably on them, sleep on them, and generally behave as if they were at some classy hotel.

Furthermore, in the Second World War, they also played a significant part. The largest plane ever built, Howard Hughes' HK-1 (or "Spruce Goose") was produced as a war machine. Unfortunately, in spite of the enormous expense of building her, she flew no more than a mile in her lifetime. She lifted 70 feet off the water, at a top speed of 80 miles per hour, and then made a perfect landing. Now she resides in the Michael King Smith Evergreen Aviation Educational Center in Oregon.

The End of One Era, The Beginning of Another

Soon after the Second World War, the age of large flying boats was superseded by the age of ground-landing planes. The number of operational flying boats dwindled over the next several decades until they became a thing that the current generation knows nothing about.

Nevertheless small flying boats carrying no more than three people are once again becoming the norm. They're still expensive to buy, but they're a great vehicle for people for whom landing strips aren't a viable option because the places they want to go are rivers, or lakes amongst forests.

Let's take a look at some of the craft that are now available. The difference between the original models and the modern ones is that many of the modern craft are kitsets, or models that can be "wrapped up." (The only time the original flying boats were wrapped up was if Nature or a false landing did the job for them.)

Take the Catalina range, for instance. The Catalina can carry two people up front and a third behind, with plenty of room for baggage. Furthermore with full tank capacity added, this little plane can fly for up to ten hours.

The floats on modern planes are called sponsors. In the Catalina's case they are made of foam-filled fibreglass attached to the lift struts and can be used as entry or docking steps as well. But flying boats also need landing gear, which has to work both on sea and land. Thus as well as sponsors and the retraction mechanism needed for water landing, the Catalinas have hydraulic brakes and tyres.

A particular advantage of modern flying boats is their ability to be folded up -the Catalina, for instance, takes about ten minutes to fold the flaperons back without any need to disconnect them, and then the whole craft can be put on a trailer and driven home!

A different kind of seaplane is the Flying Inflatable Boat. This is one of the class of ultralights, and these models have been used widely by luxury hotels and naval special missions and Greenpeace. The FIB's ability to take off and land on all water surfaces is one of its great advantages. Unlike the Catalina, the passengers are not enclosed in a cabin.

However, the pontoon or sponson system, popular in the ultralight field, was not found safe and seaworthy for a weight shifting machine - for the same reason that single hull craft perform better in rough seas than catamarans. (The Catalina has a single hull.)

The FIB is of the Rigid Inflatable Boat type, which means it permits safe take-offs and landings in fairly rough seas, as the boat can jump from one wave to another until it reaches its take-off speed. The boat's design also protects the whole machine (including the propeller) from big waves, leaving the pilot, passenger, and engine dry. And even in bad landings, the boat slips around to avoid capsizing and damage.

There are great advantages in this type of craft: it can take off in 150ft and six inches of water depth. It can be assembled in 15 minutes, and stores easily in a garage. You don't even need a pilot's license to fly the FIB (though as with most ultralights you'll be expected to take at least a ten-hour instruction course.) It can fly as high as 10,000ft, and you can even shut the engine off and glide back down to the water, landing without power.

There's still a place for flying boats in the search and rescue arena, and in aerial and maritime surveillance. One craft, Seawolf, is specially designed for such work and can be equipped with stabilised FLIR (Forward Looking Infrared) with video camera and Digital Multi-Spectral Imaging System for the most sophisticated of such roles. The Seawolf can even collect oil and water samples. It has a 14 hours flight endurance, excellent visibility, radar and navigation capability. It's also available with rescue pods for land or sea and for different climates from the Arctic to tropical areas.

It's unlikely any of us will ever take a trip on a luxury flying boat, more's the pity, but at least the excellent concept of a plane that can land on water has never been entirely dismissed.

After soliciting volunteers (who then joined the throngs of standbys crowding the gate area) I started the boarding process. Soon the lounge cleared out to only those passengers and standbys waiting for a seat. We released the seats of the no-shows about 10 minutes before departure time and discovered we had a handful of seats to dole out in the order on the priority list in the computer. We handed the first seats back to the volunteers, then did some juggling for the couples trying to get seated together, and finally came down to accommodating one revenue passenger who had missed an earlier flight.

It was now about 3 minutes before departure and I had very little time left to get that aircraft door closed for an on-time departure. I told the standbys that we were sorry, but there were no more seats and I'd be right back to "bump" them to the next flight. Immediately one man jumped up and accosted me at the jetbridge door (he was really far down on the standby list if memory serves me well.) "What do you mean there's no more seats - I want my seat now before this plane leaves," he bellowed. "I'm sorry sir, but you're standby and there are no more seats on this flight, I replied." He looked shocked and replied angrily: "Look, I've stood by for over an hour, and now I want my seat so I can get on this flight!"

Luckily a fellow agent ran down to close up the flight, while I took him aside for a stern discussion. As it turned out, he was an employee's brother who hadn't grasped the whole concept of standby as it was explained to him. He actually thought it meant waiting until departure time to find out what seat assignment he'd have on the flight. And for that he thought he could fly free? When I finally got through to him, he became totally irate and just said "I'm never flying this outfit again!"

Sometimes you've just got to laugh and move on to help the next genius in line.