Eating a meal at a restaurant is usually an enjoyable event. It's a night that you don't have to cook or clean. A night that you don't have to worry if what you've prepared will please everyone's palate. You're out treating yourself, relaxing and getting away from work. Don't forget though, while you are enjoying yourself, the people who are taking care of you are at work. You can certainly help to make their job more pleasant.
Acknowledge your server. There is nothing more annoying than walking up to a table with a smile on your face and presenting yourself, only to be ignored, cut off or spoken over. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to introduce myself, always with a pleasant greeting, only to receive a look of disgust, a finger pointing in the air telling me to hold on as a cell phone conversation is taking place, people continuing their conversation as if I am an invisible entity, or the lovely, “I'll have a diet soda”, before I've even finished saying hello. How would you feel if you were greeted like that by your server, or by anyone, for that matter? The initial contact with your server sets the mood for your entire dining experience, so why not help to make it a good one? Just say a pleasant hello and acknowledge that a person is there to ensure you have a good dining experience.
Remember, your server is a person, too! All too many times, servers are yelled at for things that are out of their control; a drink wasn't refilled the second you needed it, you can't find something to eat that you like, your steak is cooked too well, or you feel you are being charged too much for a martini. Typically, your server is taking care of more tables than just yours. That is not to say that he should not be attentive to your needs, but you should also understand that he is only one person trying to be in a million places at once. Have patience, your drink will come. Your server didn't create the menu, but typically he will be happy to help you modify a menu item to something of your liking. He took your order, but believe me; he did not have time to overcook that steak. And that martini, it wasn't his decision to charge you $8.00 for Grey Goose; blame that on inflation. Your server is just trying to do his job, which is a difficult one. How would you feel if he came to your job and started yelling at you?
All too often, servers are looked down upon because they are, well, servers. I don't know where this stigma came from. It's as if society views it as an insignificant job and the people that do it as schlubs who can't do anything more than serve tables. That is just simply not the case. First, if the job were so insignificant, you would be getting your own food and drink when you went out to eat. What then, is the purpose of treating yourself to eating out? Second, a majority of the people who serve tables are either in college, haven't landed their dream job yet, need some extra cash (who doesn't, with this economy), or just really like working in the fast-paced environment of the food service industry. Personally, I am a certified elementary teacher working toward a Master's in literacy and an aspiring writer. I have not yet landed my ideal job, so I serve tables to pay for school and all the other bills that come with life. Life is frustrating enough with out having the added pressure of having people look down on you for the work you do. Demeaning a server is in no way acceptable. So please, just don't do it.
This brings me to my last point; leaving the tip. Let me start this section by saying that servers, at least in New York State (where I am based), are paid a very minimal hourly wage. This wage is so minimal, it is would be impossible to fill a gas tank with a weeks pay check alone. So, it is you, the guest, who pays the servers salary. In days of yore, 15% of the check was deemed acceptable as a tip. Unfortunately, the economy has changed, and with that, so have the standards for tipping. Today, 18% of the check should be left for a tip. However, do not let that stop you from tipping on your own accord. If your server does a really awesome job; constantly has your drink refilled, gets your kid a coloring book, recommends a great beer, or really dazzles you in some way; by all means, leave them a rocking tip above 18%. He went out of his way to give you exceptional service, so why not show your appreciation in your tip. Not to mention, you will really make his night and he will not soon forget that. Of course, at the other end of the spectrum, if everything was completely abysmal and your server has a very la-di-da attitude about it, you certainly reserve the right to tip as you see fit. Nevertheless, just remember that your tip determines your server's income.
Serving is a very demanding job, both physically and mentally. As a guest, you expect to be treated with top notch service, but remember, you can help determine the service you receive. Not to mention, the tip you leave, and not just the monetary one, can make or break someone's night.
Hope you enjoyed this food for thought! Bon appetit!
