America is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world and it's not difficult to understand why. They have something for everyone. For those who demand the excitement of city life, it is impossible to beat New York City, with its barrage of neon and flurry of cabs. For those who require something a little more serene, there is the beauty of Massachusetts, Georgia, Tennessee and forty five other states. There are even miles of sandy beach areas close to major cities. For instance, Venice Beach is famous and it's in the heart of Los Angeles.
Now that I have tempted you into booking a flight to the USA immediately, its only fair that I inform you of what you will be treated to before you arrive…the flight. To demonstrate just what is in store, I would like to recount a recent flight I made to New York before catching a connection to Washington DC.
I set off for the airport early with the weather cool. The airport was blissfully quiet and after an uneventful check in, I was given "the forms". The forms provide, in my eyes, the first section of in flight entertainment! They consist of two pieces of bureaucracy. The first inquires about the value of the goods I am bringing into America and the other is the Visa Waiver. Basically, the waiver allows me to enter the US for 90 days to do whatever I want…except get a job, file for welfare, claim a pension or commit any crime (spoil sports). Furthermore, I have to swear that I'm not a terrorist, a communist, a spy, a criminal and that I've never been a Nazi. I have to wonder whether anyone has ever said "yes" to any of these questions. I'm always tempted to say "yes" in an attempt to be funny, however American immigration control…especially in New York, is famous for having large firearms and very little humour!
The flight was actually rather pleasant. The movies were poor, but it didn't matter as I was fortunately sat next to a very nice American lady. We chatted for several hours and after a while, I managed to forget that the seat in front of me had jammed my knees behind my ears and there was a baby screaming behind me.
Since the flight was a connection, I had a 90 minute layover in NY. I sat and read, listening to the permanently annoyed drawl of the New Yorkers rambling around me and boarded my flight at 5pm, heading to Washington DC. It was mercifully under booked and I had a window seat above the engine. I relaxed for nearly five minutes when the captain informed us that an emergency light had flickered to life as he was about to fire the engines and we had to pull off the runway. Suddenly, the window seat over thousands of gallons of jet fuel seemed less appealing. Still, I got a beautiful view of the clouds as we climbed through them and I was happy to be alive for the short flight. Landing in DC, I was amazed that I wasn't anally probed by customs...again, and I headed to the Metro stop, slightly disappointed that Customs had spared me my usual welcome to the US. It's not so bad when you get used to it!
So what have we learned about flying to America? Strike up a conversation with the person next to you whether they like it or not, try and enjoy the probing and never say you are a Nazi…even for a joke!
