As an example… if you are in a bus on the way to the train station to catch a train… and the bus breaks down, making you miss your train… no amount of shouting at the bus driver (or the bus!), or "getting worked up" is going to bring your missed train back (or fix the bus!).
Someone having "Jy yen" would be much more likely to stay calm and concentrate efforts in trying to make other arrangements, or simply wait calmly until they can continue their journey - making the best of the situation.
This is "Jy yen-yen"!
Nung, Song, Sahm! (1,2,3!)
Three bits of advice that may help you develop "Jy yen-yen."
- Smile! In Thailand a smile is worth a thousand words (or more!)… in almost every situation!
- Never lose your temper or shout at/get angry with a Thai person. It will get you nowhere, and…
- (a) … most certainly will not persuade a Thai person to help you or change their mind about something, and…
- (b) … you will lose respect and…
- (c) … you will be labelled as someone having "Jy lawn" ('hot heart'), with behaviour not-becoming of a respectable and mature adult. "Sweet talking" and gentle persuasion is much more appropriate… whatever the problem!
- Learn some basic Thai words and phrases to accompany your smile… it really can make all the difference!
Sex, Nudity and Chest Hair!
Whilst some of the major tourist hot-spots in Thailand have a burgeoning reputation for a developing sex industry (Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket for example)... contrary to popular belief, Thailand is not all "Girlie-bars" and "Sex shows". In fact, whilst most westerners are fairly open-minded about sex, nudity, topless sunbathing etc, the ordinary Thai person is most definitely not!
For instance, whilst bikinis are now readily accepted in Thailand as beach-ware, although you will almost certainly never see a Thai woman wearing one (t-shirts and shorts being their more modest choice), bikinis are simply NOT appropriate anywhere else-in town shopping for example. The same goes for bare-chested men too-ok on the beach or within the grounds of your resort, but considered disrespectful anywhere else. In fact, in some parks around Bangkok it is actually illegal for men to walk around bare-chested, and doing so could well result in your being arrested.
*Special note for ladies! Sunbathing and/or swimming topless anywhere but in specifically designated areas (and there are not that many) - whilst not strictly illegal - is an act that will not gain you much (if any!) respect from the local Thais.
Generally speaking, Thais (both male and female) find the sight of topless women, "thongs", and "posing pouches" incredibly embarrassing. If you must sunbath topless, wear thongs etc, it is sensible (as well as polite!) to stick to the beach. Even a short walk to a beach-side bar (for example) should result in you "covering up" respectably.
Meeting and Greeting
Showing respect is of paramount importance in Thai society… from children towards parents/adults… between adults… from adults towards those in higher positions in society… and from everyone towards Monks, members of The Royal Family (including their images, statues etc), and Buddha (again, including images, statues, temples etc).
With this in mind it is important to realize that the famous Thai "wye" (putting the palms of your hands together in a prayer-like fashion and bringing them up in front of your face) is not only a Thai gesture of greeting, but also one of respect.
A wye from any Thai person should always be returned, and although you may at first feel a little self-conscious in doing so, you will find after only a short time that it will become second-nature to you! Besides… it's a wonderful reminder that you are not "just" on holiday… you are on holiday in a wonderfully different culture. Make the most of it!
As a general rule, a wye from children to an adult should be returned by the adult with a wye at upper-chest or neck level.
A wye from a Thai adult should be returned with a wye in front of your face, with your thumbs just touching the tip of your nose.
There are actually quite strict rules about "wying", depending on a person's "position" in society. However, as a holiday-maker you would not be expected to know these intricacies, and therefore returning a wye with the tips of your thumbs just touching the tip of your nose would be the best option (and considered more than respectful enough for the vast majority of situations).
If you find yourself in a situation where you need to wye to a group of people, the general rule of thumb would be to wye to the eldest/most important person first, but then to keep your hands up to your face and simply turn your head to look at the others from one side of the group to the other in a kind of sweeping "all-inclusive" wye.
