Five Best Japanese Local Festivals

Maybe it's because I'm from Louisiana-a state that has a festival for every food group imaginable throughout the year-but I'm fascinated by the range of local culture on display in a good city-wide party. Of course, there's the annual holidays where you'll see some sort of party all over Japan, but for those you might as well see whatever's closest. This list provides festivals that are unique enough to justify a weekend on the road and go beyond just the usual dancing, chanting, and carrying the portable shrine. This isn't just classifying which of the usual activities is the most exuberant and costly(probably Gion Matsuri), but which will probably give anyone a good story and even better camera fodder.

1. Shibukawa Heso Matsuri

   The Shibukawa “Bellybutton” festival is probably the best place to go with friends, have a few beers, and act like idiots. After all, the whole point of the festival is to paint your tummy with a cartoon-face, put on a kimono for your lower-half with fake plastic arms, and dance to make it “talk.” Some might wonder why someone would devote a parade to this, but I think there needs to be a lot more holidays that require you to make a fool out of yourself in public. The reason for the occasion is supposed to be local pride for Shibukawa being near the center of the country and therefore the “bellybutton,” but come on. We all know it's for the hell of it. But If you're thinking that acting like a fool isn't worth the travel, then ask yourself this: could you do this anywhere else without getting arrested as a domestic disturbance? I thought not.

2. Kaze no Bon

   In the small village of Yasuo, Obon was mixed with a traditional dance the villagers done to appease the wind-since this is usually the time of year that their crops may be destroyed by it. The celebration, dances, and songs are idiomatic to the town, and for the majority of the holiday's history, it has only been seen by villagers. But increasing awareness of the ritual has spread and brought more and more attention to the sleepy village of Yasuo during the festivities. The curiosity may not just come from the dance's hidden history, but from the strange melancholy effect of these traditions. The dancers faces' are hidden by tall reed hats in hopes that the gods they're trying to appease will find it harder to seek retribution. This is also supposedly the reason that the dancers must all be unmarried, so that there's no worry about leaving widows and orphans behind after the gods' retribution. Of course, now, this really means that the single dancers get an opportunity to show off and flirt, but the traditions of the festival help add to the overall atmosphere. After all, the Kaze no Bon traditionally takes place at night. And you'll be hearing the usual plaintive wails of Japanese old songs being accompanied by faceless, perfectly-synched dancers. A lot of travelers have said that the rituals feel downright creepy up close. Since it was created to avoid supernatural death and looks almost like an Edo-era imitation of a zombie movie, I can certainly see why.

3. Kanamara Matsuri

   Some of you, like me, may usually feel more sexually-evolved than most people, especially when an exposed nipple sends an entire country into panic. Well, the giant phallus being paraded down the streets at Kanamara Matsuri is here to knock you down to size as the Victorian-era prude you really are. And its not just the centerpiece either: penis sculptures, penis candy, sweet vulva rice balls, and just about everything you could imagine being fashioned into genitalia. It's like that kid from Superbad was given full rein of every bachelorette party gimmick ever made. The veneration of the penis at this shrine has occurred for many years and for many different reasons-fertility, easy delivery, couple harmony, prosperity, resistance to disease-but the predominant one involves a story.
   
   
   Apparently, legend says that there was once a girl inhabited by a demon who castrated two men on each of their wedding nights(ow) until a blacksmith fashioned an iron phallus to break the demon's teeth. The next person that asks me, “Why do you like Japan so much?” is going to get this story verbatim; you can't make up stuff this great. Now imagine what the Victorian Commodore Perry saw when he began inhabiting the island, knowing now that the West largely got Japan to tone it down after that. According to one theory, the famous Maneki Neko you see in just about every Japanese business was originally created to disguise the usual good-luck penises with the cat's upraised arm(now you'll never look at them the same way again). Because of this, the Kanamara Matsuri is the best place to force yourself over your culture shock and haze yourself into having a good time. Once you eventually convince yourself that munching on penis candy won't wind up across the internet, you can get into the spirit of things. Carve penis-daikon radishes, pose for a picture on the giant rideable wang, dance with some she-males, or give a prayer to the portable penis shrine. Not only that, but the festival today is used to raise money for HIV research, and you'll no doubt have the most interesting vacation slideshow grandpa's ever seen.

4. Sapporo Snow Festival

   Normally northern Japan in winter wouldn't be worth the cold(at least to this Southerner), but the Sapporo Snow Festival draws about two million people every year to see mind-bending sculptures of ice. “Ice Sculptures” seems like a misnomer for some of these though, since a more apt description would be ice buildings. Ever wanted to visit the Forbidden Palace of China? Well, here's a scale replica. Ever wanted to drink and sing karaoke in a bar made completely out of ice? Now you can. The precision, hard work, and skill is downright stunning, especially for something that's going to inevitably melt away. Maybe Buddhist monks should switch from sand art to ice sculptures to display the impermanence of life. Given the Japanese love of shaved ice, I'm kind of surprised that the artists don't take it a step further and color it with syrup-but then we'd probably have an epidemic of kids with stuck tongues. Instead, children are taught how to make igloos, ride ice slides made for the occasion, and enjoy the breath-taking sculptures just as much as the adults. After all, a lot of the sculptures are of the fun and familiar: Wallace and Gromit, Mickey, The Chronicles of Narnia, the characters from Spirited Away, etc. Try to resist going through the festival with your mouth agape, since here your face might freeze that way.

5. Jidai Matsuri

   Jidai Matsuri, often known in English as “The Festival of Ages” was created in Kyoto once the capital was moved from there to Tokyo. And if there's anything a Kansai denizen hates, it's losing out to Tokyo(heck, maybe this is when the rivalry began). So Kyoto decided to celebrate its illustrious history as the capitol of Japan with a festival honoring those periods-which is most of Japanese history, incidentally. What this basically led to was the most renowned geisha of the geisha-capitol of Japan dressing up in painstakingly detailed and gorgeous period costumes for an extravagant parade. If you were ever curious to see how the hell a woman in a twelve-layer junihitoe from the Heian period actually did anything, this is your chance(although the answer to that is “They didn't do much at all”). You can see just about any historical figure rendered probably a thousand times more gorgeous and romantic than they ever were in real life. Anyone, even without a lick of knowledge of Japan, can certainly appreciate the exorbitantly expensive and stunning visual display. For someone who does know a bit of history, they'll probably get Stendhal Syndrome from the sensory overload. The parade of Jidai Matsuri is nothing short of an art museum come to life and walking down the street. It is the most lush and stunning of Kyoto's local parades, and given Gion Matsuri and others, that's saying something huge.