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A Brief History 3

Final part of satirical article on South African history.

The dark years began with the coming to power of the Nationalists under D.F.Malan in 1948. Whereas previous governments had been interested in the welfare of all races, the Nationalists of 1948 were only interested in the furthering of Afrikaner interests and goals; anyone who was not Afrikaans (and that means the various black tribes, the English, the Indians, the Portuguese, the Italians, and the Jews) were all regarded as second-class citizens and all manner of horrible laws were passed to keep people in their place. The Afrikaner of those days was only slightly to the left of Hitler and we should, we now acknowledge, have stepped in once more and taken the country back under British rule. We are sorry we didn't because out of this mistake came Apartheid and this country became more and more isolated as the years went by.

In the early 1950s Soweto (concertina name for South Western Townships) was laid out and established; it is still the largest black township on the African continent and was to serve as a huge dormitory area for Johannesburg. Much has been said and written about Sophiatown (most of it through the rose-coloured spectacles of time) and its untimely demise and the forced removal of its citizens to Soweto. Sophiatown was, in reality, a down-at-heel suburb of crumbling turn-of-the-century houses which were home to a great diversity of peoples; it was an area with its own vibrancy, but nonetheless an area where crime was rife and streets were ruled by gangs. Upon its demise the houses were raised and a new suburb, Triomf, was built to house the burgeoning Afrikaaner middle class.

In 1954 J.G.Strydom became prime minister. Much can be written about the Nationalists and their rise and fall; however, they can legitimately lay claim to certain interesting facts: they were the only government in modern times which had a penchant for erecting statues to people who were still alive and naming various projects (roads, airports, harbours) after their ministers. We had Jan Smuts Airport in Johannesburg, D.F.Malan Airport (overlooked by a rather frightening bust of the famous man looking like a large boiled egg with glasses) in Cape Town, Louis Botha (alright, he was dead) Airport in Durban; the Ben Schoeman Highway between Johannesburg and Pretoria, the Strydom Tunnel in the Eastern Transvaal, and so-on.

In order to alleviate the plight of the great unemployed masses of former years, the Nationalists created a massive, top-heavy, civil service. Whatever had to be achieved in their South Africa required books of paperwork to be completed; there were departments for this, for that, for everything under the sun. Every breath that the populace took had to be legislated; every movement required somebody's permission in writing, and round every corner lurked an official, the Bible in one hand and the Might of the State in the other. It was bureaucracy gone mad. Every document was firstly and foremostly in Afrikaans, and every official behind every desk spoke only that language. Of course they did; it was the language God spoke, wasn't it?

In 1958 H.F.Verwoerd came to power. We really are sorry for this one, for he, single-handedly brought about more damage than anyone else in the Nationalist hierarchy. The odd thing was that he wasn't even South African. He had sufficiently aroused the ire of the British, so that in 1960 Harold MacMillan delivered his nail-in-the-coffin "winds of change" speech in Parliament. For some years the colonial powers had been withdrawing from Africa and handing countries back to their local populations. Colonies cost an awful lot to keep going; they used manpower, a great deal of paper, and were very difficult to administer from far-away London or Brussels or Lisbon, so they were gradually given independence. After the required pomp and circumstance and the departure of the governor most of these erstwhile colonies immediately reverted to tribal warfare, rape, pillage, wanton genocide, and other little niceties that we, as whites, are very sorry to have caused by our departure. MacMillan's speech was a warning.

By 1966 Verwoerd had become an embarrassment even here and so he was assassinated.

This brought B.J.Vorster to power; during his regency he managed the forced removal from District 6 (a slum area, much romanticised in plays, poetry and painting, where gangs ruled) and then its demolition; he established the Bureau of State Security, which watched over all of us in its safari suits and dark glasses, he allowed in a moment of extreme weakness the arrival of television some twenty years after it had been introduced to the rest of the world, and then was forced to retire iniquitously at the end of the 70s.

Whatever criticism we may throw in the direction of the Vorster administration, it was a time of great success financially for this country; so he must have done something right.

The amazing thing about the Nationalists was how, at each general election, they managed to be returned to power with a resounding majority. However on closer scrutiny it can be seen that they gerrymandered political constituencies in such a way that a small Afrikaans town had at least ten seats, whereas a large English-speaking area seldom had more than one. Of course, the ANC went one better when they introduced floor-crossing; there is no longer any need to win an election; they simply buy their support afterwards. We can't apologise for that.

After Vorster came the Groot Krokodil and things went from bad to worse while he wagged an index finger at us through the TV screen. By 1990 most of the white population was armed to the teeth and in 1992, under F.W.de Klerk, came the famous referendum which brought about the end of Nationalist power. So in no uncertain terms the whites actually did say with a very loud voice how sorry they were for Apartheid and its attendant policies and harm.

The rest, as they say, is history. If you seek apologies from the Nationalists for what they did between 1948 and 1994, then you must go out and try to find one, because they all seem to have disappeared. Now we look forward to hearing Mad Bob's apology, as he leaves Zim for the last time.

And that, in the words of John Vorster, is all about it.

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